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Who was this woman and why was she doing things with Munson that she refused to do with me? Hell, from that last conversation it sounded like I was the only man in the upper Midwest who hadn't been allowed to fuck her ass. Katie kept saying things that suggested she still loved me, but she was treating me like a chump. What was I supposed to believe, her words or her actions. The old saying was actions speak louder than words and at that moment Katie's actions were blaring at me like a storm siren. Deciding that I needed to take a short break, I went down the hall to the bathroom and splashed some cold water on my face. On my way back to my office I stopped at the table by Myra's desk and poured myself a cup of coffee. Fortunately, Myra was on the telephone so I didn't have to make conversation with her. At that moment I wasn't in the mood for small talk. Once I was back in the refuge of my office, I sat down at my desk and took a sip of coffee. The warm liquid had a soothing effect.. " Thank you, sir," I answered quietly. The operative words there hadbeen pilot and were. Somehow I knew there would be no facing a groundbased job with NASA for me. Not after what had happened, andespecially not after being a pilot. It just wouldn't work, but Ididn't tell him that. I think he suspected as much, but refrained frommentioning it again as he made his exit from my little piece of theworld. * * * *"It's something called 'Survivor's Syndrome' in the trade," Dr. AllenClarke told me simply during one of our regular one on one sessions.The psychiatrist gave me a troubled look as he went on. "Accident anddisaster survivors are often left with the idea that they shouldn'thave lived, and are guilty that they did. It's nonsense, but that'sthe Human psyche for you." So that's why I feel so miserable at times?" I questioned with a smallshrug. Putting a name to the reasons for at least some of mydepression wasn't all that much help, really. .
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